So you’ve never had an orgasm, or you don’t think you have. Or perhaps you only have had orgasms occasionally, or solely through self-stimulation and not with a partner. Or maybe you just wish you knew more about female sexuality and orgasm. You may sometimes feel that you would be happier if sex were eliminated from your intimate relationships entirely! If so, you may have feared that you weren’t whole as a woman. Some women even fear that they are “frigid.”
You might feel vaguely let down, wondering if you are missing something everyone else has enjoyed, a part of life that you just don’t experience. You probably feel as if you are one of the only women in the world who have this problem. But the truth is that you are far from alone.
In her decades as a marriage counselor and sex therapist Jill Denton has become acutely aware of the problems many women have in understanding their sexual nature and in reaching orgasm. Couple counseling can be helpful, but not all women can afford psychotherapy and not all women have steady sexual partners willing and able to take part in therapy. So, in addition to individual or couple counseling, Jill somtimes offers women’s groups based on landmark work by Lonnie Barbach and Nancy Carlsen. These groups are for “pre-orgasmic” women, since we fully expect that each participant will be orgasmic before the program ends.