Unsure about whether what’s happening to you is abuse? Or whether you might be at risk for abuse? These questions point to behaviors which are often seen in people who abuse their partners;
- Is your partner distrustful and possessive? Does he or she question and ‘check up’ on you excessively?
- Does your partner try to control where you go, what you do, whom you see? Does he or she limit your access to family funds?
- Did your partner come on like a whirlwind, demanding quick commitment?
- Does your partner depend on you to meet all needs? Are you expected to be the perfect spouse, parent, lover, friend?
- Does your partner try to cut you off from all resources, limit your contact with family and friends, prevent you from going to work or school?
- Does your partner blame you for personal problems, instead of taking responsibility?
- Does your partner act brutally to animals, tease children excessively, or expect them to do things that are beyond their ability?
- Does your partner manipulate or coerce you into having sex or performing specific sexual acts when you don’t want to?
- Does your partner say things that are cruel and hurtful, put you down, minimize your accomplishments?
- Does your partner hold rigid beliefs about male and female roles within a relationship and demand that you comply?
- Does your partner have an explosive temper, sudden mood swings? Behave kindly in public but cruelly in the privacy of your own home?
- Does your partner admit to hitting partners in the past but say they “made him/her do it”? Has a relative or ex-partner told you about past abuse?
- Has your partner threatened you with physical force?
- Does your partner deliberately break your possessions or strike walls or other objects when angry?
- Does your partner hold you down against your will, push or shove?
If you answered yes to several of these questions, it may be time to consider a plan for your safety. You can call Jill Denton to discuss this further but if you need immediate assistance please call 911 or checkout the National Domestic Violence Hotline.